Jeanette (Prysiaznuik) Shewchuk
Jeanette (Prysiaznuik) Shewchuk

Book Blog - Grief

Not believing you will see your deceased loved ones again can cause excruciating anguish. The pain is unbearable, tearing at your heart and soul. Conditioned beliefs add to the continuous torturous thoughts dragging us deeper into the abyss of sadness and despair.

I just knew in my heart of hearts, that the religious belief system with which I had been brought up, was at times difficult to embrace as truth. The belief encompassed the idea that the body and the personality remain in the grave until the second coming of Christ. Cremation was not an option. Apparently, it is  after the second coming of Christ that the dead will rise from their graves.

I always struggled with that concept. I felt that belief system had nothing but potential for incredible pain for those who had lost loved ones, especially children. Watching my family at the grave sites, weeping and greatly saddened, I knew the ones they grieved for were not in the cold ground, but beside us, trying to communicate and comfort us.

My husband and I agreed to being cremated, during one of the many conversations we had regarding death. At his funeral one of my relatives felt it necessary to remind me that cremation was in the eyes of God a "sin".  Dealing with other's beliefs and values may add to the overall pain. Not to be influenced by others will take strength and forgiveness.

I have since concluded that the one we grieve for the most is ourselves. The lives we lived before our loss, changed dramatically. A part in us has also died; we will never be that same person again. That chapter has ended, a new one begins.